Mixed Signals
So I started my third cycle of chemo this past Monday. I asked a bunch of questions this week. The first time I had chemo I was told not to eat any raw fruit or veggies, almost immediately I started craving grapes! Go figure. So I asked my new oncologist why he didn't tell me not to eat uncooked foods and he said he doesn't believe that it poses a risk to me. At that moment, my undeniable urge to eat grapes left me! He says I can wear jewelry (it was recommended that I not at my last doctors office), I can eat whatever my heart desires (within reason) I can workout and I can dye my hair! I keep losing weight, I think their scale is off because I don't see it but I see what it says every week, they aren't happy with me about that, I really don't have an appetite especially since the desire for grapes has left me!
My WBC (white blood count) is low, I almost didn't have treatment this week because of it, I think I have to rest a little more and have a good, stern talkin' to with my bone marrow! I don't feel any different but the count is low. Hopefully, next week it will rebound and I will sail through and complete round three of my new treatment. I was pleasantly surprised to hear that during my off week of this cycle I am going to have my repeat CT, if is shows that the chemo is working then I can start radiation. If that happens, I will actually be able to see light at the end of the tunnel! I was very excited by this news, sadly I was the only one. I think my friends and family are becoming skeptics, just what I need now a bunch of doubting Thomas'. Well, my doctor and I are very encouraged and that is all that really matters.
How weird is it that I am actually looking forward to having someone shoot radiation through my body, me the one who doesn't even like to stand too close to the microwave! Again, go figure!!!!
STAND BACK AND WATCH ME SHINE (or should I say glow??!!!)
My WBC (white blood count) is low, I almost didn't have treatment this week because of it, I think I have to rest a little more and have a good, stern talkin' to with my bone marrow! I don't feel any different but the count is low. Hopefully, next week it will rebound and I will sail through and complete round three of my new treatment. I was pleasantly surprised to hear that during my off week of this cycle I am going to have my repeat CT, if is shows that the chemo is working then I can start radiation. If that happens, I will actually be able to see light at the end of the tunnel! I was very excited by this news, sadly I was the only one. I think my friends and family are becoming skeptics, just what I need now a bunch of doubting Thomas'. Well, my doctor and I are very encouraged and that is all that really matters.
How weird is it that I am actually looking forward to having someone shoot radiation through my body, me the one who doesn't even like to stand too close to the microwave! Again, go figure!!!!
STAND BACK AND WATCH ME SHINE (or should I say glow??!!!)
posted by Meg at 3:23 PM
7 Comments:
Meg, I don't think it strange that you want the prescribed treatment. It's inspiring how you WANT to fight it. You go. And keep going!
Now, if I may suggest some remedies for your weight loss (as gaining weight is an area of expertise to to me): beer, pizza, bread, orange juice, peanuts, all of which are much more attractive after a fat blunt or spliff. :)
You are strong. I like you listening and hearing the contradictions or the different information. It's all relative. Shine/glow; glow/shine.
bravo on the walk, too.
-ginab
PS: from here my dog whispers to your marrow: high WBC.
Hot fudge. Always worked for me.
Thanks for keeping us posted, Meg. All the best to the bone marrow!
Hey, I'm encouraged too! No skeptic here! A little worried about the WBC, but I am excited that you may be able to start the radiation soon. Blast that sucker outta there!!! You go girl!
...and yes, do rest a bit, Hon.
: )
"Stand back and watch me glow" Hahahaha! I love that. I'm sorry to hear those around you are not giving you all the positive vibes you need, but delighted to see you appear to have enough for everyone.
I don't get the raw food and no jewellery things. I've heard people say you should stick to organics as much as possible though - presumably it's all to do with limiting your chemical intake. (Do gold and silver get absorbed through the body through jewellery?)
Eat well and enjoy it, but maybe go easier on the workouts, eh?
Anyway, shine, glow and continue to embrace the treatment as you are doing - every day is one step further on the journey to recovery.
M x
Hallo Meg, it's been a while since I popped by, mainly because I lost touch with your blog and couldn't find you, but hurrah! Today I saw you on dear Margie's blog, and I was so glad to see you are still fighting and are as spunky as ever. Had to come by and give you my best wishes. I've thought of you often in the past months, so it's good to see your blog is full of optimism. That is great, although I can imagine the treatment must be draining and exhausting, not to mention making you fee lousy.
I think when all this is through, we'll be the ones standing back and watching you shine ;-)
I'll be back!
And I've been thinking about you too, and wondering now as I reread: was it white grapes or red you were hankering after?
Otherwise also as I reread I personally do know what it means to weigh less than what I perceive to be true. Still today, and I have a tummy, co-workers complain of my slight state of being.
Like I said over a week ago here, it's all relative. You shine, you glow. You want grapes when you can't eat them, you don't want them when you can eat them.
I picture you dripping in jewels, though. Or perhaps it's the forms the shine takes: diamonds and gem stones adrape (to rhyme with 'grape').
wishing you well always,
positive vibes,
and believing in you...
-ginab+bb
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